The relationship discussion...

Today, there is something that all you who know me, I'd like to get your feedback on. That is relationships. The truth is, I really don't get them. I understand them on a physical/biological need, but I don't understand them as they pertain to the LDS faith. This talk was sparked when I speaking to a very good friend of mine. He related the story of a mutual friend of ours. This mutual friend, ended up marrying a woman who, let's just say, none of us would have imagined him with. In fact, the words "Batshit insane" and "crazy woman" are often referred to a lot of with her.

His story is this, his wife ended up sparking an infatuation with a councilor of their Bishopric. The plan/fascination progressed to the point that they had planned to run away together and make babies. However, the guy didn't want to go through with it and thus our friend is left with an unfaithful wife, who had to come clean about everything. Here's the crux to it. Naturally, you'd think to yourself "What a whore, I can't stand her!". However, there's some back story here. It turns out that he is sterile, and can't have children, and they have been unable to adopt. So, what do you do in an LDS society that preaches that being a parent is the paramount responsibility for married people?

I realize that it's not excuse, but human side of me that understands motivations and societies as whole, can understand why she was driven to such measures. There are women who their whole lives have driven this "you have to be mother" notion into them, and trying to reconcile that they might not be able to, is probably a problem insurmountable to them. How much does "motherhood" affect your relationships? These are questions that I cannot answer.

Then, we break it down to this. I've usually never liked the girls that my friends pick out to be in a relationship with. I can only think of maybe one or two, that I thought were decent girls that live up to their potential. So, are the laws of attraction biological? Then, you break it down this way. After cataloging most of the women I have dated. Almost 75% of them are petite brown or black haired girls of UK, or Northern European descent. Which, actually, I am usually not attracted to. So, how can we understand or break down our decisions? How can we trust who we marry if it's determined so much by our biology?

Now, I understand certain kinds of attraction. There are some that just don't make sense. Like my friend Jeffery's attraction to black girls. James' attraction to older women, with kids. I have a strange attraction to Alicia Keys, that Flo girl from the Progressive ads, and an unhealthy obsession with Erin Andrews (I'm dead serious, I've found myself watching pointless games that I normally wouldn't watch, just because she's on the sidelines). So, how do you manage life when those attractions, that don't make sense, evolve into marriage? Because, in all those relationships, they always end up the same way (at least for me), where one of the parties thinks to themselves "What was I thinking!?" What if you were stuck in a marriage like that?

I think we need to approach relationships differently. Too much thinking goes on with the heart or the privates, and not with your brain. Either that, or we need to change how we commit. If you marry someone, stay married to them through thick and thin, just like they did in the good old days. Even if they hated the person later on, never fight in front of the kids, and one of you sleep on the floor and another in the bed or the Couch. Without the kids knowing, of course. This is a simple solution that fixes some of the society problems we now face. Either that or an honest, and dissected analytical analysis of the people who we are attracted to and might want to marry needs to be done. On a side note, that mutual friend of mine, did decide to stick it out with his wife and work through the problem. God bless him! Please give him your prayers, and all the people struggling with unfaithful life partners. If you see me out there, give me or comments, or post them... I'd love to hear from you.