Trouble with the world, now...
I hate to break it to everyone, but it looks like the time for summer movies is over. Take the example of the movies just barely released this last weekend.
Death Race
Or as I like to call it, Transporter 2.9. This file will prove the point that Jason Statham can NOT hold a movie down with him as the main role. Feel free and look at the metacritic review here. I honestly don't think it takes that much brain power to be Hollywood exec. This movie is remake of a 1970's movie, that stared Sly Stallone. Yes, you heard me right. Sylvester Stallone. The original was one of the funniest campy movies I've ever seen. The Plot: In prison, they hold an annual race called Death Race. Convicts race cars and the winner gains his freedom, but wait there's more. Statham plays a Nascar driver who kills his wife, and the actual murder is in the big house, and he was set up just to get him the death race. Conclusion: Can we please stop re-hashing old movies and ideas.
Or as I like to call it, Transporter 2.9. This file will prove the point that Jason Statham can NOT hold a movie down with him as the main role. Feel free and look at the metacritic review here. I honestly don't think it takes that much brain power to be Hollywood exec. This movie is remake of a 1970's movie, that stared Sly Stallone. Yes, you heard me right. Sylvester Stallone. The original was one of the funniest campy movies I've ever seen. The Plot: In prison, they hold an annual race called Death Race. Convicts race cars and the winner gains his freedom, but wait there's more. Statham plays a Nascar driver who kills his wife, and the actual murder is in the big house, and he was set up just to get him the death race. Conclusion: Can we please stop re-hashing old movies and ideas.
The House Bunny
I'll call this one, the "if we could could make Adam Sandler 20 years younger, and a woman we'd put him in this movie". It stars, my love, Anna Ferris. However, that's the only saving grace that I'd see this movie. Again, this plot is pretty much the recycled garbage that you see every year. The Plot: Ferris is a Playboy Bunnie, who's been released from the mansion and needs a place to live. She finds herself being the Sorority mother of the worst greek women's group on campus. She, in turn, makes them over so that they look better, and more popular (all by spending money) of course. Conclusion: In the end, the girls find out that spending money and making themselves popular is not the way to live your life. After that, I puke. Go home and put a gun to my head for having this movie point drilled in my brain for the 50th time. The saving grace is that Emma Stone is also in this movie. She's one of the up and coming new hotties in the Hollywood scene. She's got this attainable beauty about her. Looks like the girl next door, kind of like Winona Rider, back in the day.
I'll call this one, the "if we could could make Adam Sandler 20 years younger, and a woman we'd put him in this movie". It stars, my love, Anna Ferris. However, that's the only saving grace that I'd see this movie. Again, this plot is pretty much the recycled garbage that you see every year. The Plot: Ferris is a Playboy Bunnie, who's been released from the mansion and needs a place to live. She finds herself being the Sorority mother of the worst greek women's group on campus. She, in turn, makes them over so that they look better, and more popular (all by spending money) of course. Conclusion: In the end, the girls find out that spending money and making themselves popular is not the way to live your life. After that, I puke. Go home and put a gun to my head for having this movie point drilled in my brain for the 50th time. The saving grace is that Emma Stone is also in this movie. She's one of the up and coming new hotties in the Hollywood scene. She's got this attainable beauty about her. Looks like the girl next door, kind of like Winona Rider, back in the day.
The Longshots
I'll call this one, The Bad News Bears goes black. It stars Ice Cube, yes Ice Cube, as a High School Teacher. He might have been trying to channel his inner Samuel Jackson ala Coach Carter here or something. The Plot: A poor Illinois town gets behind the local pop football team, with it's starting quarterback a girl. Conclusion: The inspirational sports movie has to stop. There's enough inspiration stories in just watching sports. We don't need movies about them. If the Tampa Bay Rays win the world series, how long will it be till we see a movie about them? Plus, again this idea has been done to death. Now, I loved the Bad News Bears remake a few years ago with Billy Bob Thornton, but I don't need to see a movie with more street cred, with Ice Cube.
I'll call this one, The Bad News Bears goes black. It stars Ice Cube, yes Ice Cube, as a High School Teacher. He might have been trying to channel his inner Samuel Jackson ala Coach Carter here or something. The Plot: A poor Illinois town gets behind the local pop football team, with it's starting quarterback a girl. Conclusion: The inspirational sports movie has to stop. There's enough inspiration stories in just watching sports. We don't need movies about them. If the Tampa Bay Rays win the world series, how long will it be till we see a movie about them? Plus, again this idea has been done to death. Now, I loved the Bad News Bears remake a few years ago with Billy Bob Thornton, but I don't need to see a movie with more street cred, with Ice Cube.
The Rocker
I'll call this one the, "We love The Office, so we stuck Rainn Wilson in his own flick, oh and by the way, he's a nerd" kind of movie. The movie itself is way contrived and seems to have had some problems in post production. It seems the studio didn't even know if they wanted to release it wide. It's always the sign that when the release the movie at the same time, as when one of their main actors is in another movie release at the same time. The Plot: An old time hair band drummer, wants to re-live his youth by getting with his nephew's new band. Generational and old jokes, GO! The Conclusion: This is your typical TV character/movie cross over. Woody Harrelson went through the same thing in the 80's.
Overall, it's a sad state of affairs for the movie scene. The only thing I have to look forward too is Quantum of Solace in November. So, I doubt I'll really be seeing any movies till then. I might catch that Don Cheadle spy movie that's going to get released soon, but even then it'll just be a matinee. Till then, it'll be crappy movie rentals on DVD, like Prom Night, which was hilarious! That's the best, when you can Red Box a crappy movie and it only costs you a buck to see it. The laughs were free flowing. That's when film is the best.
Overall, it's a sad state of affairs for the movie scene. The only thing I have to look forward too is Quantum of Solace in November. So, I doubt I'll really be seeing any movies till then. I might catch that Don Cheadle spy movie that's going to get released soon, but even then it'll just be a matinee. Till then, it'll be crappy movie rentals on DVD, like Prom Night, which was hilarious! That's the best, when you can Red Box a crappy movie and it only costs you a buck to see it. The laughs were free flowing. That's when film is the best.
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1 comment:
You don't think that Eagle Eye looks good?
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