The funniest thing I have heard...today.

Okay, the funniest quote I've heard, last week...
Co-worker 1: "Bill Engval tickets are going on sale yesterday."
Co-worker 2: "Oh, really!? That guy is pretty funny!"

Now, where can I start with this. First, Bill Engvall had his day, 10 years ago. Second, the grammar is attrocious. Is Co-worker 1 going to magically go back in time to a time when they are not on sale to pick them up?
This is just one of the funny crap that my co-workers say on a continual basis.