For once, a movie that I have no desire in seeing...

For once, I have no desire in seeing a movie. I'm not too picky about summer blockbuster movies, but Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull will take the cake.

Now, let it be known that this movie I was skeptical of early on. It was filmed and cut all within 1 year. It was rushed into production, pre and post. I had a huge bunch of friends go, and from what I determined, this is what to get from the movie...

1) George Lucas & Stephen Spielberg don't want to deal with anything that could construed as non-PC. All the Indiana Jones movies have had a religious theme and go to show the power of belief (whether it be Christianity, Judaism, or Hindu). This newest movie is a stretch on that variation. They input the belief of ancient civilizations beliefs in the so called, crystal skulls. Suffice to say that in the end, there are aliens and the mother ship comes and takes the aliens away. You probably didn't want to know that, but I just saved you $9 and 30 minutes of frustration. So, L & S decided to go the route of X-Files, and other Sci-Fi series. This is a re-occurring theme with their recent movies. You merely have to look at Lucas' newest Star Wars movies, and how they explain that dumb ass way the force works, Meta-Clorines my ass. Also, Spielberg's re-editing of ET to remove guns. Akira Kurosawa is probably turning in his grave from the way these young tykes, who owe so much to him, are acting in the later years of their career.

2) Money can buy anything, even a good review. As it stands right now, the only people that I've heard give this movie a good review are people who are die hard fans (who just wanted another Indy movie) and people with extremely low expectations in movies. Everyone else is saying that it's one of the worst movies they've seen this summer, or they are extremely indifferent. However, at current check, Rotten Tomatoes has the movie at 78%. This coupled with the fact that Iron Man got a 93% makes me think that a memo must have gone out to Hollywood. Iron Man was a decent movie, but not worth a 93%. I bet the memo went something like this...

• Dear Hollywood critic, as you may know, many of our movies have suffered as whole these past couple of years. As many of the big studios attest, we realize that it's all YOUR fault. By giving movies bad reviews, and it makes people not want to see them! Shame! Shame! We are hereby giving you this offer, if you give us some decent reviews, we'll let you keep seeing our movies and give you stylish Paramount gear, with some great coffee mugs. Also, you may find a little envelope in your mail box *nudge nudge, wink wink*

3) Hollywood is officially dead. The staff writers and studio execs are now running the show and having nothing but shit made. There are a handful of film-makers who are going through the effort to not let producers and execs run the show. Those of you who don't know, a good director never agrees with a producer. The whole director/producer (studio exec) relationship is precarious at best. There is a tolerable hate between the two. Where film-makers get their latitude is solely dependant on the profitability of their movies. However, it seems that directors and producers are walking hand in hand, through a spring meadow these days.

Now, this isn't the first time where studios turn out crap. Take example of again, Akira Kurosawa. In the 70's, Kurosawa made epic films, but had the reputation of being over-budget and not on time. Godzilla films entered the main stream in Japanese culture, and were cheap to produce and you could do them in a small time frame. The studios didn't make as much money, but there wasn't the risk. Kurosawa got sidelined and many of his movies were not made. If you look at his imdb page http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000041/ . Even though he died close to 10 years ago, he's still credited for writing. Some are remakes, but others are compiled from old notes and other things Kurosawa did not get produced later in his years. Eventually, Kurosawa had to go to George Lucas and Francis Ford Copella to get the movie Kagamusha made. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0080979/

Eventually, film started coming back around and Japanese cinema got original material again, but it's been a hard fought battle. Which basically leads me to this truth, international cinema is more original and invigorating lately. As a matter of fact, I still like the Guy Richie crime drama stuff that's put out in the UK. I like the ingenious things that Japanese cinema does. Also, I like the stuff that certain American film people are producing, like Christopher Nolan. I even will watch bad horror movies and enjoy them. I had my fun with Transformers last summer, but I'm on the official hiatus from summer blockbuster remakes. If we want to keep some innovation in our movies, I recommend you all do the same. Again, don't see that crappy Indiana Jones movie!

Techevolution, the problem with modern society.

There are many people who do not believe in social evolution or human evolution, I propose the following...

Now, I am a good christian male. I believe in God and have faith to that end. To that point, I cannot understand how people in a Christian world will discount evolution. Many religions all over the world believe there is more to it than just the printed word. So, according to Genesis, god created the world and the Garden of Eden. He, nowhere in that book, states HOW he did it. There is also the argument that we do not know the time of God, and thus have no idea how long that process took. It's completely irresponsible, even to God, to state that he didn't use tools of natural selection and a scientific process to complete those means. How can human arrogance conclude the means of God?

That being said, we have a serious problem with human evolution, and that's Techevolution. Darwin believed that evolution occurs as a process of natural selection. You have trait A, which in turn will be more useful than trait B, and thus through competition is phased out. Technology is the great equalizer to natural selection. We have, at this point, gotten past physical traits and rely on what we can do technologically. You merely have to look at the process given to enabling handicapped people, to see a direct result. Now, in my heart, I am a complete Darwinist. I believe that there are processes in separating those that belong in this world, and those that don't. Technology enables those that would have fallen by the wayside many years ago, to flourish.

Case in point, let's take most of my co-workers here. These are people constantly plugged into the web and their PC most of the time. Here is the issue, we all know that these so called "tech people" have the social skills of a hedgehog. In social situations, they are timid or overtly loud. There is no social stigma for them, and they just don't remember or follow the rules. Let's apply social evolution to this equation. Prior to the last few years, these people would have no option to re-produce. Now, with the barrage of social networking and on-line dating, people with the same social retardation, can get together and procreate. Thus passing the learned behavior, social trait, or gene. With the classic definition of natural selection, this behavior would not have been passed. So, with technology we are completely bypassing these processes. Ask ourselves this one question, Is that good for society?

I've had to take a long and hard look at myself, and my behaviors. When I have been in a gaming mood, I would spend time on the web and on MMORPG's, and my inter-personal interactions would be affected. I found myself not understanding certain behaviors and acted typically out of line in most social situations. Luckily, I am a social person by nature, so I could cope and get out of that mode.

However, what about the millions of people who don't have the same coping and modification mechanisms that I do? Would they be able adapt back to typical social behavior? I don't believe so. I've worked and been with these brand of people most of my professional life, and I would dare say in the last 5 to 10 years, people have become more detached and less courteous. It all stems from that lack of contact. You don't have to say "Please" and "Thank You" to a computer. For example, take a friend of mine. Now, he was not a social butterfly by any means. However, over the years, his job being in front of a PC for 8 hours a day, combined with paying WoW and other RPG's, has caused him to withdraw more and more socially. This is a behavior that is not atypical of most gamers and others involved in on-line practices.

I have really wanted to do an experiment lasting 1 year and test peoples social responsibility as well as attractiveness and social awareness. I would take 10 people. 5 involved in solely on line practices, and the others in well rounded activities and see where they are at after 1 year. This would go to show how, we as humans aren't designed for all the computer use that we do. I don't want everyone to think that I'm turning Amish or anything, but is all this technology really a good thing? I beginning to think that it's not.

We need to throw a lot of this stuff away, or keep it under control, like drinking or anything else. They advertise the hell out of not smoking and changing behaviors that way. How is on-line so different? We need to ask ourselves why we are getting on line? A lot of times, it's not just used for information, but to look up comedy and other things. A rule of thumb that I use, is that am I only using streaming media to look up a video or maybe two, then that's no problem. However, if I'm spending more that 15 min looking up videos and other things, then you've probably got an on-line problem and your bartender should cut you off. Anyone reading this is probably already saying, "I don't have a problem. This behavior does not make any difference with me." I dare say this, try limiting for 1 month and see what it does. You might notice a world of difference.

I have a REALLY bad habit...(cursing occurs)

I now have to admit a REALLY bad habit. I from time to time, get on urbandictionary.com just to update my lexicon on verbage (usually vulgar). For instance, in some down time, I wanted to find out the best way to describe "ridin' dirty" to someone. So, I got on good ol ud, and found some pretty good definitions. However, those acursed web designers put in the most addicting thing to me. The damn scroll bar that brings up similar words or the next in line in the ud. Looking at my definition then the words "riding dickass" seemed to jump out at me. I just HAD click on it. Once I did, I was glad because it's actually something I would probably use in my speech at one point.

1. Riding dickass

To define two guys riding on a motorcycle, moped, or scooter together.
"Hey Chris, do you wanna go for a ride on my new motorcycle?"

"Hell no Tyler, I ain't riding DICKASS on your bike with you!"

Now, I know that I'm dirty, but I know this term will come in handy all time! Especially now that summer is here. Granted, anyone who doesn't want to look flaming gay, will walk as opposed to riding dickass. However, I know I'm gonna be riding with some people, and I'll have to shout "look at those dudes riding dickass..."

This then sent me to of course look at "riding asian style".

1. Riding asian style

When there is no one sitting in the passenger seat, but there are people riding in the back seats. Originates from the bay area, where asian people for some reason never fill that front seat...
"Ok someone jump up here, were not riding asian style!!! "

I, of course, think this stems for all the Asians in the bay area having a socially evolutary stygma that comes from driving rickshaws for several years. However, I can think of numerous times this saying would come in handy, and I like it!

All this browsing cultimated in the most celebrated word in my vocab now... ridikishiz.

1. ridikishiz

ridiculous thing to do or ridiculous amount of money to spend on something
"£60 on a book thats ridikishiz!" (ridiculous shit)

I could use this word on SO many things (i.e. most of the useless crap I see some girls buy). A good friend of mine once spent like $400 on a big brass pig. Ridikishiz is the paramount word I would use to describe that. $400 on a useless house ornament just ranks up there.

After reading this, word to the wise. Stay away from UD. You'll find yourself laughing and poluting your brain with things you just shouldn't know.

Man Law bathroom etiquette

This post is dedicated to Man Law Bathroom Etiquette. I would have posted them on my musings page musingsofnerds, but this is more of a general thing that needs to be discussed. (Be warned, cursing will probably ensue)

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Man Law number 35.
One will not talk on the phone while in the shitter. If you do, do not be angry about the guy in the stall next to you trying to absolutely force the loudest fart possible.

There is absolutely more disgusting than being able to spend some nice alone time on the john, and have some guy get in the stall right next to you, and start chatting it up with his wife. This always represents the opportunity to get a good laugh by forcing the loudest fart possible. Most of the time, I end up injuring myself trying to force it. So, let's do us all a favor and just not do it. You wouldn't conduct a business meeting in the outhouse, so why talk on the phone in the john.

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Man Law number 47
You will not go into a stall when a urinal is perfectly available, this indicates a Number 1 action.

I've found that nerds are the biggest abusers of this rule. I think it stems from some feelings of inadequacy. However, most guys know, we're all like cars. Some aren't built with the same size engine. Doesn't mean the engine is bad, and a 4 cylinder light weight car has it's perks. (I didn't want to expand on that, so take it as you want.) Why is this rule a problem? I'll tell you why, because if we're already dealing with guys who don't have a full size hose, they have a problem with their aim. We'll just leave it at that.

III

Man Law number 52

A man shall not go into a stall next to another man, especially when there is the option of having a 1 stall buffer.

The reasons why for this are perfectly obvious. It's man space. The only person who should be allowed in Man Space is a girl, otherwise it's kind of gay. This law translates not only to the bathroom, but to the Movie Theater or anything that has seating. Sometimes, it's not possible, and that's not gay. However, there will be no touching when the 1 seat buffer is not available. You keep your arms and your legs in a locked position on your sides. Breaking this law will en cure severe penalties including busting your damn face.

IV

Man Law number 59
Free hand peeing is not allowed. This goes especially if you place your hands on your hips, like Peter Pan.

This one is a little tricky. You never let the equipment just swing free. The only exception to the rule is during sex, because let's be honest your hands are doing different things. Otherwise, always grip the stick. The only exception to this rule, is the exhausted clause. If you've got your hands on the top of your head or leaning against the wall, but a yawn or grunt MUST be stated to show your lack of energy.

V

Man Law number 67
ALWAYS wash your Hands!

This one is universal, I know. However, it's more important for guys. I don't know about the lady world, but I have seen many a guy rush out of the bathroom once he takes care of business, without even a drop of aqua on them bacteria ridden monstrosities. I've seen some of the people that these individuals have sex with, and I absolutely don't want to have vicarious va-jay-jay contact, if I had to shake that person's hand.

The only thing weird that should be allow to do in the bathroom that's different than the norm, should be this... Because, everyone's had a drunk night in the bathroom.



All these rules are simple to follow and also are just common courtesy we can give to our fellow Men. If anyone has any other man laws they want to add, please do so. I will forward to the beer companies to get these printed and put in the book.

Thanks!

When I was a little kid...

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When I was a little kid, I dreamed about doing something good for the world. At this point, there's only one thing the world needs.... Rocket Boots.

Now, I don't mean something lame like shooting bottle rockets out of boots, but something that you can travel with. (Also, FYI - If you've got the pointed man boob action going on, it's best to draw attention away from the nipple area, and not get them pierced.) I was thinking more along the lines of this...


Also, I pictured myself being a Shriner. My young mind conjured a world where in 2015, Shriners and Rocket Boots would rule the world. But, to my dismay, it's 2008 and we have yet to even hear about Rocket Boots being a possibility. What will I have if my childhood dream of powered boot flight is not available? I always have my back up of having my own Submarine, or living in a bunker.

Oh well, I guess that really means that we should get to a certain age and throw away the ideas of our childhood, I guess around 30 is that age. However, going along with my post yesterday, I guess we should all think about what's really important to us. Also, I didn't know how to work it into the article, but while I was doing a flickr search for pictures I found this picture, and it makes me laugh...Hysterically. I don't know why I find it so funny.

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I've caught some recent flak, because in my most recent trip to Vegas, I mentioned that after a couple of days, I was kind of home sick. What I should have said, and meant is that Vegas depresses the hell out of me. You go in the Casinos and have fun, sure. However, if you actually go outside and just look at the people on the strip and people in the Casinos, you'll never see a sadder sampling of humanity. The bunch of drunk Indians (feather, not dot) seemed to rank up there as the highest form of depressing entertainment. Have you ever seen a mother, with 2 kids, one fighting drunk and the other the consolation drunk? Because, I now have. Both of which could barely stand.

Now, I don't know about you guys, but if I was ever fighting drunk, My mother would have beat the hell out of me. It's just that simple. This fine young lady was just strolling along with her kids. You combine that scene with overweight 30 year old women, wearing skimpy clothing in some hopes of trying to get a guy for the night, to bolter their self esteem... and it was just, morbid.

I do like Vegas, don't get me wrong. They've got some really kick ass stores there and I love their Quiksilver store with specific Vegas gear. I won enough playing Blackjack and Roulette that it pretty much paid for my fun down there.
Also, there was The Pleasure Pit. For those of you who don't know, the Casinos are starting to get back to some of the risque forms of entertainment they're known for. These girls are pretty much scantily clad, and one step above strippers in pasties. They wear lingerie and dance on platforms. I had a buddy, or two who wanted to go and partake in the scene. I didn't object, but it really was pointless. There was only one girl who was actually seeming to enjoy her work. The rest, looked like they were part of the old gag about unwed mothers with 3 kids trying to pay the bills being a stripper. I mean, if you're gonna be a stripper, you might as well live it up and seem like you're having fun.

I mean, I could see the pain of life wearing on some of these people. Granted, I probably projected my own assertions about their lives and the quality and such, but there really wasn't any way to avoid it. It looked like some very unhappy people, losing themselves in drunken, sex filled nights.

How can humanity, as a whole, be unhappy? You might debate that statement. A lot of people would, but how can you debate that? We blow each other up, and we want and are envious of our neighbors. In American society, we're always keeping up with the Joneses, and wanting to out do our neighbors. We buy watercraft we probably only use once or twice a year, if that. Plus, they run about $8,000. I'm not one to tell someone how to spend their money, but you really should spend money like that on something you'll use everyday. We don't though, we put that as something that makes us "happy".

America is getting to the heights of opulence that Rome, The British Empire, and other major powers have. It won't be soon till we see the fall. We should take a lesson from the greedy people in previous generations and change our outlook on what we can do for the world.

Worried about life? Try a drugs...

There's all kinds of things that we do brainlessly, especially in our jobs. I've found myself doing things that are robotic at times. So much that I find myself doing random weird things, see the Chuck video for an example.



This represents an inherent problem with our corporate society. We weren't designed to do our random crap in an office. It usually puts us in a bad mood when we see beautiful weather outside that we cannot be a apart of. This causes labor outages, problems with attendance, and overall me telling people to "F@#$ off" when when yelling in his ear. I now have a solution for all the troubles that I might have. Instead of having to look at things like the attached picture (the view from my cubicle), I can have the artists rendition of what my workspace should look like and be much more happy.

Current View


Artists Rendition


This leads me to produce the following conclusions...

A) I should not be stuck in a cubicle...
B) I'm not the kind of guy who's gonna have a crappy job just feed a wife and kids.
C) Do something that you'll enjoy with your life, and make your life worth while.
D) Not everyone is okay with the status quo. It's necessary to break the mold every once and a while... Take that as how ever you want...