It's time to say goodbye...

The following is a letter that we should all write every once a while to our ill fated Internet friends:

"Dear Internet Friend,

I've found that we don't have much of a relationship lately. I know that a good portion of the blame is my fault. Because, either I didn't want to get with you in real life, or that you completely lied on your profile when you said 'athletic with some curves'. However, I know that I'm the only one who didn't have feelings of apprehension. When I asked you if don't mind sharing the bed with someone else, you seemed to think that I was not referring to my dog.

Sure, we had fun with passing flirtations, and downloading a myriad of applications to give us a smiley face for every occasion, but I'm just ready for more. I need a note left on a single piece of chocolate cake resting in the kitchen, proclaiming 'this is for you'. I need someone who will go with me to an event that has midgets wrestling with other midgets. Someone to take with me to a ball game, and sadly my Apple Airbook, with built in Camera, just doesn't capture the emotion of the moment with just an IM blinking.

However, look at all the benefits this break up will do for you!? You'll be able to scroll down to the screen names like "Zbellbuzz", without having to over step my "Imscruptastic" screen name. Also, you won't get forwards and e-mails from health magazines and articles that I find, which boldly proclaim "Sex is the cure-all for everything". Also, you'll not have to look at my on-line status of "IM if you're horny".

So, I think that the best thing is to remove each other from our buddy lists. It's time to make a break, and soar with the Eagles. I wish you further luck in your On-Line adventures, and hope that you find someone who will echo your sentiments of ;) with <3.

Your friend,

Imscruptastic (This account will be deleted in 1 week)."

What Internet friend break up letter would you write? Let everyone know. Shout it out loud and proud.

Possibly the best show on Television...

Today's article is dedicated to one of my favorite TV shows...

It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia.

Now, there are many reasons why I like this show. First of all, it goes with my sense of humor entirely. It's about 4 friends and their quirky nature, and they all make fun of one another. Each of these said characters has their own things that they don't like. The following is a bit from one of the funniest shows that I saw. It was also one of the first episodes that I laughed my ass off from. The gang finds a dead guy in the bar, and the following takes place...



It airs on FX and they do a short Season that only lasts the fall months. We are entering the 4th Season. Now, you might ask why I'm writing about it and it's simple. I just found out that the 3rd season is getting released on DVD on Sept 9 with brand new episodes starting Sept 11. The show itself doesn't hold many things sacred and nothing is off limits. There's no crappy relationship drama that you find in many sitcoms these days (i.e. The Office, Desperate House Sluts, etc). There has only been one or two relationships in the series, and the one that comes to mind is an episode where Dee (the female of the crew) is dating an up and coming rapper named Lil' Kevin.
Upon announcing to her group of friends that she's dating this guy, her brother Dennis comes back and says "I knew that guy, and he's retarded". The whole episode consists of Dee trying to prove to herself that he's not retarded, which eventually fails and then Dee is left with having no relationship at all.
The second clip is from the same episode. Dee feels really bad about not visiting her grandfather, but she can't go alone because she is afraid of old people. She enlists the help of her friend Charlie to go with her, but during the visit Dee's grandfather mistakes Charley for Dee's brother Dennis.

Overall, this is one of the most hilarious shows on TV. I plan on doing a review of the 3rd Season on Sept 9th. Anyone who wants to join us, feel free!

The Movie Top 10...

Everyone always asks, what's your top 10 in movies. This is a concise way to spell it out, and I challenge everyone else to find their top 10 and why it's in their list.

1) Princess Mononoke

Many people think that I am extremely weird for having this movie in my top 10. In fact, most Americans don't understand it. Namely, because of the animation stigma. For those of you who don't know what animation stigma is, is simply the concept that animation equals kiddie, for those in the US at least. This is one of the masterpieces of Hayao Miyazaki, a man who is more influential to animation that Walt Disney ever could be. In fact, Princess Mononoke is the crowning achievement in that pursuit. The movie starts out with a tribal prince, who is cursed by a God, and given a mark that will eventually kill him.
The prince, Ashitaka, has to leave his people and seek a way to end the curse in the lands far from his native birth place. Along the way, he sees wars, and see atrocities that humans can befall one another. Eventually, he finds the destined place he was meant to find. There, humans destroy the land for iron. This causes the forest beings and Gods to go to war with man. The great forest spirit governs all nature and is the giver of life and the bringer of death.
Overall, the tale speaks of the ills of man, the nature of Gods and what greed brings. Simply a masterpiece of cinema.

2) Memento

This is Christopher Nolan's first masterpiece, and the first on my list. What so good about it? Memento was shot in bits and pieces, and was a fresh take on film making and the story hadn't been done before. The story is told from the perception of Lenny, a man who can make no short term memories after one fateful night where his wife was raped and killed.
The whole story is shot in bits and pieces, you see the end of the story first, and through the story telling it shows you the whole thing. This is why Christopher Nolan is one of my favorite people in film. He is a storyteller second to none.

3) Ikiru

The word Ikiru in Japanese, means To Live, and nothing is more powerful than the message here. Again, I don't know if it translates well to a American audience, but the whole movie is about life, and how lots of times we waste it.
The story centers around an old bureaucrat who knows that he is dying of cancer. The story follows him as he descends though the grief stages. Then, he decides to turn his life around and do something miraculous. I read once that the main actor in the movie, Takashi Shimura, acts with his body and face better than anyone, and I'd have to agree. I'm usually not a person who cries in movies, but this brings me to tears each time. The end shots of the movie are so beautiful, and Kurosawa is a master of mood. Good for anyone who enjoys foreign cinema.

4) Batman Begins

This is a modern day masterpiece. It relaunched the Batman series with a deep brooding undertone and got rid of the bad taste those last 2 piece of crap Batman movies gave me. Nolan is pretty much the only reason why these movies are so good. He starts of with an origin story and gives Batman an up to date character and toys. He brings Batman to a modern look and also puts the emphasis on his motives and gives him a great back story with Raz Al Gul. There hasn't been a better superhero movie made to date.

5) Stargate

This may surprise some people on why I ranked this movie so high. Simply put, this is just an entertaining movie. It takes ancient Egypt and combines it with Sci Fi elements to create a compelling story. Most Sci-Fi movies take the approach that aliens are discovered, and humans can't compare to their superior technology and gets their asses kicked. However, this puts an Airforce team on an Alien world and they just are using typical human technology, MP5's and Nuclear weapons. Highly entertaining.

6) Snatch

I am a total fan of Guy Ritchie, crime movie films. Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels is in my top 30. This is an entirely hilarious film. It also has to prove a point that Jason Statham is not good as a leading man, but if you put him in an ensemble cast, and he does rather well. It does have a narration direction on the story, but it seems to work with Richie's style. It's filled with laughs and has enough action/violence to keep it interesting. The main reason is the story though. It's filled with enough colorful characters to always keep you interested in it.

7) Black Hawk Down

This is the first of 2 Ridley Scott movies in my top 10. Black Hawk Down tells the story of special forces in Somalia and has a great cast of characters. Granted the story is no where near the truth of what goes on, it portrays service men as what they are courageous, and determined people. It doesn't portray them as mindless drones that the military would like you to believe. It does a good job showing people that the soldiers are human. It also shows how much of idiots the Legislative branch of our government is. A sentiment that I whole heartedly echo.

8) Blade Runner

Blade Runner is one of my favorite films that has grown on me as I have gotten older. Truth be told, I love all things cyberpunk, and set in the very near future. This Ridley Scott film takes place in a future that doesn't seem all that distant. The story centers around creations of man called, Replicants. Replicants are artificial human beings. These Replicants are given tasks that we humans, don't want to do. Fighting over territory in outer space, hard mining, sex, they do all the jobs we don't want.

When 4 Replicants escape to earth, it's Harrison Ford's turn to hunt them down. Ford plays a reluctant hero. More a private eye, rather than a cop. So, while it's set in the future, the character seems almost Bogartian in a way. As the story unwinds, you find out what it is to be human. Rutger Hauer also delivers one of the most poignant monologues that I have seen. By far, an entertaining story.

9) In Bruges

After watching In Bruges again from the DVD, it's cracked my top 10. Everything about this movie is excellent, and a perfect Terence movie. It's pace is dead on, it jokes about drug use, midgets, and several other topics. It's kind of a crime drama, but also makes it's criminal characters rather real. If I was some sort of assassin or bad guy, it would be spot on how I would act. The movie has enough drama to keep on interested as well.

10) Letters From Iwo Jima

Letters from Iwo Jima is pretty special to me. I just like that an American director got the chance to paint a picture of one of the forgotten moments from the Japanese history. I'm also a WWII history, kind of guy. I also have high regard and respect for Japanese culture. Eastwood does a good job of painting the Japanese just as they were, a determined foe of the Americans, filled with piss and vinegar and having a true warrior spirit.

The picture focuses on a man who was drafted and sent to Iwo Jima to defend it from the Americans. It goes through his journey, and him sending his messages home. The film is also a picture of modern Japanese society, because the film mostly had to be made by using letters and correspondence of other Japanese battles. The Japanese themselves have all but forgot about Iwo Jima, or WWII as a whole. It's not taught much in the public schools and is kind of glossed over. So, this film is maybe something that later on, when their society becomes so much more free, they may enjoy. Japan is still a country mired in social position and much like China now, all about money, and not reflecting on the past.

Well, there you have it. That's my top 10. (I hope you're happy Jimmy.) Boom....Outta here.

Here's a real quick post about the worth of my soul...

$222,590 Soul Dollars
Quiz brought to you by money.co.uk

Cut through the dribble... (A honest review of The Dark Knight).

Alright, my purpose is to write a critically honest view of The Dark Knight. First, I'll be straight up. I have film man crush on Christopher Nolan. The man is a film genius. He has at least 2 of my top 10 films, under his belt. So, I am a little biased. That said, I LOVE this film. I pays great homage to the Joker that people who read the comics are more familiar with, and Ledger plays him remarkably. For instance, there's a pivotal scene where The Joker confronts a main character in the hospital. The Joker is in full drag, dressed as a nurse, and uses lines like "Do I look like a guy who plans?" It's just plain hilarious. Unfortunately, there were people in my theater who were laughing at the weirdest times, so I kind of hated that. I plan on seeing the movie in IMAX to confirm my overall perception of the movie. Overall, I give it a 10 out of 10.
Now, the reason I titled it "cutting through the dribble", is that there are some things about the movie that I didn't like or the way their percieved. Mostly, it's about Ledgers performance. If you listen to people in Hollywood, they say that this "oscar calibre" or "worthy of an award". These kinds of buzz words make me sick. It's more of an emotional call from the insiders of Hollywood. Ledgers performance is good for the character. However, The Joker is such a colorful character and Nolan is so good, that I think that there were several people who could have done good with the role. The second thing is Maggie Gyllenhaal. Maggie is by far the worst thing of the film. She is one of several aging starlets that is getting really old looking and I wouldn't have anything to do with. The full list includes Gyllenhaal, Katie Holmes, Angelina Jolie, Kate Hudson, and Uma Thurman. Most of these women look like the struggling 30 to 40 year old women trying to hold onto youth, like it's a Year Pass for a membership to a Day Spa. Granted, Gyllenhaal's original role was played by Katie Holmes, which wasn't much better. However, this was a step down. Gyllenhaal was a good looking actress in the past, but her day is done. I couldn't look at the movie without seeing her drooping face and thinking, this girl is absolutely not good looking, and Bruce Wayne would have nothing to do with her.


This is even a picture which has all the Botox and make up in it, and even then I still think that she wouldn't get any play from me. So, that was one of the MAJOR drawbacks, but most of the performances made up for it. The action and all the tone and overall pace of the movie was dead on. I don't know if there's room in my Top 10 movies for it. I don't think it quite cracks the list, but overall a great movie.
The movie is really dark though. Traditionally, I look at movies and see what age I would let met my kids (if I had any) see the movie. Most PG-13 movies, I'd show to a 10 year old, depending on the movie. This movie, I'd probably only show it to a 12 or 13 year old. It has a lot of adult themes, and many of the beautiful things in the movie would be missed by a younger audience. So, when I see all the merchandising geared towards young children, it kind of makes me sick. Kids as young as 8 should not be seeing this movie.
This movie doesn't have as many "moral zingers" as the first one, like "Why do we fall? So, we can learn to pick ourselves up again". However, it does have one major point at the end. Heroes do hard things. They aren't always liked, or work within the system, but they do the things required. Which I think is a good point in this "get with the system" kind of world.

Another one of my wicked pleasures...

It's a given. About once a week, I pop on a specific website to check out their new products. Of course, I'm talking about www.tshirthell.com. These have usually vulgar and offensive t-shirts. For example,
(For those of you who don't get it, 420 is a pot reference, but this is in military time). I would also get this one for the Peta freaks...


Then, of course, the ever classic...


I always wonder what my fascination is with the site is. I think it stems from my need to go against the establishment. The one that I would want to wear, but have enough sense not to is..."How dare I wear this F#$king shirt, in front of your damn kids". It might just be my confrontational nature, but I find it hilarious. There is no greater joy I get than when someone looks at a t-shirt I own and gets offended or goes "dude, that shirts' hilarious." I guess I just like to break away from the mold a bit.

Also, I was speaking with a friend of mine, whom I respect greatly. What I found out is that women don't really like t-shirt kind of guys at my age, or guys who probably watch cartoon network. Also, come to find out that all women have a height thing. This basically means that I can't date anyone over 22 or 23. This makes things really simple. I already have a no high maintenance chick rule. Now, I can add an age qualifier. Also, we were talking about patterns of behavior. Can someone who only likes to spend about 3 to 4 days a week with a significant other, get with one of those people who's an every day kind of person? We posed this interesting question, and it seems to have come up with the response of, it's cool as long as there's good communication. I'd like to keep polling people to see what they think...but, the bottom line is that it's something else to find out on the 5th date talk.

A fans' plea to Favre, Cheeseheads...

The following is a letter that I will send to Brett Favre:

Dear Brett,

I understand when you say that you have "itch" to play again. However, my friend, you did retire and the team has made preparations without you. You had your hay day. With a tumultuous start with a trade with the Falcons, you arrived in Green Bay. It was one hell of a ride. It's just time to stay down. For the past 4 seasons, we've gone through this song and dance about retirement and leaving football. It's been the calling cry for you to try and get agents of change. However, you're probably realizing now, that the team is going to go on without you.
Many sports writers and others are clamoring for your return, and states that the Packers would be crazy to not take you back. Let me, as a fan, make a clinical judgment though. Brett, you've always been a double edged sword. You've gunned the pigskin down field like a cannon. However, for every 80 yard pass in the closing minutes of the game. There are 2 to 3 interceptions thrown in the closing minutes of a game. You've gotten us 1 Superbowl in your tenure. However, it's time for a change. We need to see what 20 to 30 yard short passes do, with a high completion percentage. The days of the gun slinging are over. We've got a young team, and they're hungry. It's the re-invention of the team in the early 90's. So, Brett, please stay down. You've got a bunch of old people, who are fans of yours, who are scared of change. Take one for the team, and just stay down bud.

Dear Packers Fans,

It's time for you to just put up, or shut up. It's time to test young quarterbacks. We've got a chance that the couple we've got are no good. There's a chance that they are very good. However, it's better to find out in the next year or two, than to drag it out. Look at the Bears. They've got one of the worst quarterbacks in the league, and he's still "their guy". We need to get our guy for the next 10 years. The Pack traditionally don't spend a ton of money on the team, so we're not going to be signing any high profile free agents.
Don't hold out for Brett to come back. Let's be honest, it's been a fun ride, but it hasn't been the most productive outing. Brett holds the record for touchdowns and interceptions. That's just how it goes. He threw as many INT's as touchdowns some games. Even more in some games. For Brett to be effective, we really needed to spend a ton of money on some Receivers, something the Pack hasn't done for years.
So, Packers Fan, stay down. Don't be angry at Rodgers. He needs some time to get in the role, and he might not be half bad. We're gonna lose some games. Deal with it. We could always take the route that the Bears do and just say, "If we don't do anything this season, we'll beat the Bears." I know that line of thinking is extremely retarded, but we gotta do it if needs be. So, suck it up, and let's just get through this process of finding a new QB. It might end up being better than the headache that Brett would give us.